My Darling Irish Girl
by LoLoLaLoco
Summary: Saoirse is new to the torchwood team having previously worked for unit she takes a small break before starting torchwood but nothing ever goes to plan
1. Chapter 1

**Name: **Saoirse O'Neill

**Age: **25

**Appearance: **Short black hair with electric blue tips, blue eyes, tall (5'9), 112lbs give or take, looks anorexic for her height but it's only because she has a high metabolism and all the running around her job requires

**Other: **Born in Ballymena to Mary and Ronald O'Neill, three older brothers and two younger brothers.

Grandfather was a prominent member of the IRA in the seventies but he quit soon after Saoirse was born (first girl grandchild) doted on Saoirse more so than any of his grandsons died.  
Died when Saoirse was six.

He had taken Saoirse to the shop on the corner to buy her a lucky bag when a UVF bomber came in and blew the place up. Saoirse's grandfather protected her from most of the blast. She only sustained one serious injury which wasdue to a pipe impaling her through the stomach _just_ missing any vital organs and her spinal column.

When she was 16 Saoirse joined the IRA as a mercenary, but she left when she was 18 when she got a job offer from UNIT in Cardiff.

**

* * *

**

Jack Harkness sat in his office with his feet on the desk. His hands behind his head he left his eyes closed, it had been a slow week in Cardiff and he was glad of the peace and quiet for once,

"Jack" someone called urgently, so much for peace and quiet..

So much for peace and quiet.

Jack bounded out of his office and made his way over to Toshiko's desk,

"What's wrong?"

"There's a girl" she started,

"A girl" Jack questioned,

"She's been standing there for ten minutes waving at the camera" Toshiko said pointing at the girl on the screen who promptly dropped her hand and walked away before Jack could get a good look at her,

"She can't have been waving at us, no one knows that camera's there" Jack said, "all the same be careful" Toshiko nodded and Jack went back into his office to try and get some well needed sleep

**

* * *

**

Ianto Jones was flipping through a magazine with some obscure music playing through an old CD player when the door to the tourist office opened, showing a. A girl in skinny jeans and a sex pistols t-shirt with no jacket whichsauntered in. The no jacket was unusual since it was freezing outside even if it was March, day.

"Sorry we're closing" he said not even looking up fromback to his magazine, the girl smiled and pulled a card out of her back pocket and flashed it at Ianto, "Sorry Ma'am" he said jumping to attention,

"I'm here to see Jack Harkness" she said laughingand with a sharp laugh, "And don't call me ma'am"

"Of course, does Jack know you're coming?"

"Nope" she smiled, "just tell him there's a girl here to see him. A girl with an accent, he'll know who I am" Ianto touched his com,

"Jack, there's someone here to see you"

_"Who is it?" _Jack's voice asked in Ianto's ear,

"A girl with an accent" Ianto said and the girl noddedrepeated,

_"I'll be right there!"_ Jack's excited voice said,

"He'll be up now" Ianto said, "can I ask though, where is your accent from? I can't place it?"

"I'm from Ballymena" the girl said, "It's in Northern Ireland which is why you can't place it. I'm Saoirse, Saoirse O'Neill"

"And she's gorgeous" Jack said coming through the door in the wall,

"Jack!" the girl, Saoirse ran at Jack and he scooped her up in his arms and hugged her so tightly Ianto was sure she was going to snap in half,

"So what brings you here? Been sent to spy on me?" Jack joked,

"Ha! The girl laughed, "Nah I'm here about that job if it's still goin?"

"Of course it is! Come on then, you have to meet everyone else"

"Hang on pretty boy, you're being an arse" she turned back to Ianto, "I never got your name?"

"Ianto, Ianto Jones"

"Cool" she turned back to Jack, "come on then before you burst from excitement, I swear your worse than a wee-an" she shook her head and followed Jack down into the hub,

"Everyone stop what you're not doing and come over here" he yelled, the rest of the team looked up from whatever they were doing and noticing the new person in their midst walked over to where Jack and Ianto where standing, "this.

"This is Saoirse O'Neill formally of unitUNIT, she's gonna work with us now. Starting in two weeks"

"Bout ye" she nodded in greeting to the rest of the team,

"Saoirse this is Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato and Gwen Cooper" Jack pointedsaid, pointing to each member of the team in turn. "Tosh can you set up Saoirse's personal file?"

"Sure, pull up a chair"

"Kay" She pulled a chair up next to Toshiko's station and sat down, leg over leg, "so what do you need to know?"

"Well everything really"

"Hm ok then.

Name: Well, I'm Saoirse, Saoirse O'Neill, that's S-A-O-I-R-S-E, means freedom in Irish actually"

"It's beautiful" Toshiko said

"You have a really pretty name too is it Japanese?"

"Yes it is how did you guess?"

"I worked with a Japanese guy in UNIT" she explainedcontinued on, "anyway I'm 25, don't know my blood type you'll have to ask UNIT for the medical stuff"

"Actually Owen's a doctor, he can take care of that" Toshiko explained, "dateoffered, he quickly jotted down a memo, "Datedate of birth?"

"9th of June 1985"

"Previous jobs"

"This is gonna be a weird list, I didn't work until I was sixteen when I joined the IRA" Toshiko's eyes widened against teh weight of the statement causing Saoirse to project in quickly, "yeah I know wee thing like me in the 'RA but it was cause of my Granda"

"He encouraged you to join?" Toshiko asked shocked,

"Nah he was in it himself back in the day, he died when I was six"

"Oh, sorry"

"Its fine you didn't know" Saoirse shrugged,

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Nah course not, I was home from school that day and Granda was looking after me. He was taking me to the shop on the corner of our street 'cause he needed cigarettes and he said he'd buy me a luck bag.

We got to the shop ok and Granda was paying for my lucky bag and his cigarettes when a UVF bomber came into the shop and blew the place apart.

Granda protected me from most of the blast but I still got hurt, a pipe real bad. Pipe went right through my stomach just about missing any vital organs and my spinal column. Plus you know, luckily it missed anything crucial. Other than that, general cuts and bruises from having a shop fall on me.

My But Granda diedgot it worse."

Saoirse took a minute to clear her throat, focusing on the nub of her boot.

"Died in hospital, so when I was sixteen I decided I'd make him proud of me and join up, do my bit so to speak.

It was a bad time of my life and if I could do it again I'd go nowhere near them, I'd just stick to getting a job in Topshop like normal girls my age" Saoirse laughed darkly,

"But anyway, getting side tracked. When I was eighteen I left home, Ballymena that is cause a man from UINT came to see me and offer me a merc job here in Cardiff. I was a mercenary.

When there was a 'hostile' situation that couldn't be defused with their normal toy soldiers they called me and my team in. The best of the best"

"Sorry I couldn't help over hearing, you were a solider?" Gwen asked,

"Yeah, I know I don't look like solider material. Too skinny, but I was a crack shot" Saoirse laughed, "is that all you need from me?"

"Yeah, Owen will need to take a blood sample and I'll contact UNIT for your medical history" Toshiko said,

"Kay" Saoirse bounced out of her seat and over to the medical bay she'd seen when she walked in, "Bout ye" she said leaning over the railing, "I'm supposed to get a blood sample taken?"

"Ah right, come on down then" Owen said, "just sit up there" he pointed at the operating table in the middle of the room,

"So you're a doctor then" Saoirse said,

"Yeah, I used to work for the NHS"

"Rage for you, the NHS sucks"

"You'll feel a small prick" Owen said turning to face the girl,

"I've heard that before" she laughed, turning her head away when Owen put the needle in her arm,

"Ok so you're done then. You've probably told Tosh your medical history so I don't think there's anything else"

"I don't know my medical history; you'll have to get it from UNIT they kept tabs on how many times I had to be treated for something or other" she said jumping down of the table, "I was never a fan of hospitals"

"Not a lot of people are"

"Well if that's me I'd better go tell Captain Anything that Moves" she walked back up the steps to the hub.

The team watched as this mysterious new girl made her way effortlessly through the hub to Jack's office where she kicked the door shut and not a minute later Jack's shouting could be heard throughout the hub along with Saoirse's laughter.

The torchwood team exchanged looks as one single thought passed through their heads.

Who is this girl?

* * *

**There are NO Ianto stories on this site**

**NONE!**

**So the timeline for this is gonna be a bit erratic, it's set in season two Owen isn't the walking dead yet and Martha hasn't made her cameo either.**

**I don't really have a timeline for it so I'm just gonna say about episode three/four **


	2. Chapter 2

"Your team are gonna be going mad looking for information on me now" I laughed sitting opposite Jack,

"It'll be good for them; it's been a slow week"

"Aye I thought as much, and you didn't wave back at me when I waved through the CCTV"

"That was you waving?" Jack laughed, "Tosh thought it might have been just some weirdo, she." He gave a cheeky grin, "She was half right" anyways."

"Wanker" I shook my head,",

"Three times a day actually"

"Oh so you've improved" I laughed, "so Ianto was the guy at the front?" I asked,

"Yes, why"?"

"He's cute, he seeing anyone? Or you?"

"No, he had a girlfriend but I'll let him tell you about that. And no he's not seeing me" Jack laughed,

"Did I tell you Siobhan is getting married next week? Wants me to be Maid of Honour""I thought you

"You and Siobhan wherewere close?"

"Like sisters, you grow up in a house like mine with only one girl cousin the sameyour age as you and a girl to bootchances are you get real close. But Maid of Honour means I'll have to make a speech and be wellall behaved and lady like in the chapel"

"Very hard thing for you" Jack saidsympathised.

"And of course after her and Tommy get married they'll be having babies and I'll stand for them but then it'll be Saoirse'Saoirse it's great to see you here have a baby!' As if nieces and nephews weren't bad enough as it is" I sighed, "rantI leaned back ruffling my hair, "Rant over" ."

Jack chuckled, fiddling with something on his jacket.

"When does your plane leave?"

"Half one tomorrow, it's back again next Sunday at half eight at night" suddenly a".

A whole host of alarms went off breaking the happy silence and Gwen came running into Jack's office,

"I know I said earlier I'd give anything for an army of weevils to crawl out of the drains but I didn't actually mean it"

"An army of weevils has climbed out of the drains?" Jack asked sceptically,

"And we're getting a lot of 999 calls about 'vicious animal attacks' all over the city" Toshiko said,added following close behind.

"Saoirse you can deal with weevils can't you?" Jack asked sarcastically,

"I think so, no bat though just my guns" I pulled my gunsthem out from the back of my jeans, and twisted them for Jack's inspection.

"Let's go then"

* * *

"Jaysus weevils make one hell of a mess" I said movingnudged at a bodycarcass with my foot, "looks like a 'dine and dash', they." I looked around before turning to Ianto who too was busy inspecting damages around us.

"They can't be far body's, bodies are still warm" I stood back up, "speak as a familiar noise broke out, "Speak of the devil" five

Five weevils had Ianto and I surroundedmanaged to surround us.

Jack thought it would be a good idea if we all spilt off into pairs and dealt with as many weevils as we could, right now Jack's idea really wasn't ringing all that 'convenient' to me.

"I've no more anti-weevil spray" Ianto said lifting his gun,

"No worries lovely, I can deal with five weevils" I grinned like, casting a mad woman andgaze I charged at the first one

* * *

**-Ianto's POV-**

I watched as Saoirse charged at a weevil, it hissed at her and she just laughed smashing her fist into itsit's face and snapping itsit's arm as it tried to claw at her.

She spun around and roundhouse kicked the second weevil that attacked heras it advanced, I had my hands full with one but she was laughing taking on two at a time, .

_"Who is this girl? She can take on three weevils at a time since the one with the broken arm has gotten up again, the rest of us can just about handle one at a time" _I watched as Saoirse spun and flipped and punched and kicked her way through three weevils,

"Need some help lovely?" she asked prying the weevil off me,

"Didn't your mother teach you any manners? If you want to get that close to a guyme you have to buy him me dinner first" her laugh rang in my ears as she laughed kickingkicked the weevil in the kneecap causing it to howl in pain.

The other weevils started to back away from Saoirse and me, scurrying back into the sewer they came from, "you alright until we were left standing alone.

"You all right?" she asked me, "you got clawed pretty badly" I looked down and there was a large gash across my chest,"

"Crap, I hadn't noticed"

"By the looks of it it's just a flesh wound, my flat's over there I have a near here, complete with first aid kid. ." She gave me a worried look, "Even if it is a flesh wound it might get infected if you leave it untreated"

"Yeah, I need to tell the others"

"Jack knows where my flat is" she said patting herself, "now where did I leave my keys?" she began digging in the pockets of her jeans for her flat keys while I touched the com in my ear,

"Jack, I got clawed by a weevil Saoirse has a first aid kit in her flat so I'm going to bandage myself up there"

_"We'll meet up with you when we're done here"_

"Jack? Just who the hell is Saoirse? She just beat four weevils into submission"

_"Holy crap is she some kind of Super Woman?"_ Owen's voice asked over the com,

_"She said she was a super soldier"_ Gwen said,

_"I checked her file in UNITs database she was a squad leader. Apparently if something couldn't be contained they sent her in"_ Tosh explained

_"But she's such a tiny little thing" _Gwen said in disbelief,

_"Well looks can be deceiving can't they"_ Jack laughed, _"go and take care of yourself Ianto we'll meet up with you when we're done"_ I turned the com off and turned back to Saoirse,

"Found them! Come on then eye candy" she grabbed my arm and pulled me in the direction of her flat.

"Don't mind the mess, I've been packing for a wedding just" she said opening the door to the flat and walking inside, "sit down and I'll go get the first aid kit" I sat down on the couch while Saoirse went to find her first aid kit.

I obliged her, and my aching legs, stretching out comfortably on the couch while Saoirse went to find her first aid kit.

I noticed there was a cabinet against one wall, I and slowly walked over to look inside, it was. The light reflected off full shelves of gold medals for dancing and hurling.

There wherewere pictures of Saoirse in an Irish dancing costume with a gold medal, pictures of her with a hurling team holding a trophy,

"I was big into hurling and dancing at home" Saoirse's voice said from behind me, "why

"Shit, I-I didn't mean to-"

"Why so jumpy eye candy? I'm not gonna hurt you" she laughed just as the phone started to ring, "bloodyBloody woman always calls at the worst time" she muttered running to the phone, "Ra, Ra right about ye? Listen Ma can I call you back now's not a good time" silence, "It's just not alrightall right!" silence "a work thing" Saoirse rolled her eyes and tapped her foot, "yes Ma I'll be back for the wedding" Saoirse sighed, "yes still blue, look Ma I'll call you back ok!" she slammed down the phone, "sorry my ma, always calls at the worst time. Let's see the damage then"

"Oh right, uh-" I wasn't about to take my shirt off in front of a complete stranger,

"If you don't let me see what the weevil damage is then it'll get infected. Now take your damn shirt off" Saoirse said forcefully.

So I took the shirt off and laid it carefully to one side while Saoirse assessed the damage, "flesh wound, just a lot of blood. You'll probably want to take a shower before I bandage you up. Spare room my brothers usually stay there when they're here. You should find some stuff that'll fit, take a shower and clean off the blood then I'll bandage you up" I stood up but before I could ask her where her spare room was. As if sensing this she spokedirected, "second door on the left, right opposite is the bathroom. Second drawer down in the yellow cabinet is the stuff my brothers use" she walked into her kitchen and picked up the phone presumably to call home.

* * *

When Ianto had left for the shower I picked up the phone to call home,

_"Hello?" _

"Hi Daddy is Ma about?"

_"She's taken to the bed, said you where rude"_

"I had a guy I work with over, I'm supposed to be getting some big promotion and they sent a guy over to interview me when she called is all" Daddy laughed,

_"Well love you know what your mother is like. You're still coming home for Siobhan's wedding aren't you?" _

"Of course Daddy, I'll see you then"

_"See you then"_ I hung up the phone and stretched a bit, I was getting settled into the sofa when the doorbell rang,

"Coming hang on" I opened the door and Jack and the others were standing there, "come on in, don't mind the mess I've just been packing for going away is all"

"You're going on holiday?" Gwen asked

"Nah I've a weedingwedding to go to next week. My cousin's, I'm Maid of Honour. Come on in sure"

"Ianto said you managed to fight off four weevils" Owen said, "but there isn't a scratch on you"

"Super Soldier" I laughed, "Weevils are piss, I've fought bigger" I saidadded seriously.

"Who are you?" Owen asked,

"I'm Saoirse O'Neill and I used to be the go-to-girl for fights at home. Still am if you get enough drink in me. I'll fight anything no matter how big it is"

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Sure I got my ass kicked more than once but that's how you learn. My brothers taught me everything I know about fighting. Then I trained with the 'RA and UNIT so I'm untouchable in a fight" I stated proudly,

"And the bat by the door is for what?" Gwen asked

"Oh that? That's a Hurley bat"

"For doing knees in" Jack explained laughing when the others looked scared,

"Ah Ianto you're back" Owen said relieved, "let me have a look at you then"

"It's just a flesh wound. I already checked, here" I threw some bandages at Owen,

"I'll bandage you up back at the hub" Owen said steering Ianto out the door,

"I'd need to get home myself, Rhys will be wondering what's keeping me" Gwen said standing up, "it was nice meeting you. See you in two weeks?"

"See you then" I waved Gwen goodbye,

"I'll go too then, see you in two weeks" Toshiko said following after Gwen,

"Aw they're scared of me" I laughed, "see you in two weeks Jack"

"See you then, have fun at the wedding"

"You're an evil man Jack Harkness" I scowled at him but he just laughed,

"I want lots of pictures of you being well behaved"

"Out" I shoved Jack out the door and stripped off for bed setting my alarm for half ten the next morning.

* * *

**Bit of a filler chapter there**

**It'll pick up in the next few chapters promise**

**Listening to: Kate Bush – Running up that Hill, Reading: FMA – 106, Random thought of the day: "I want a plain Big Mac" -gets one with everything- D8 **


	3. Chapter 3

It was an hour and a half flight home; I landed in Belfast and my older brother Ciaran was there to pick me up,

"You've gotten taller" he said like this was some impossible feat I'd just accomplished,

"Shut up you" I said swinging for him,

"Too slow baby sister" he laughed, "come on then Ma's going blue in the face waiting for you"

"Come on then" we picked up my suitcase and then made the 25 minute journey home,

"So have you got a man yet?" Ciaran asked

"No and don't start the 'Saoirse you're 25 now you need to find yourself a man and have six kids' cause I'm not in the bloody mood" I growled

"I wasn't about to, I was gonna say good for you. The rest of us got married and had kids sure but that's because we wanted to not because we had to. When the time is right maybe you'll do the same maybe you won't. I'm not here to judge"

"Thanks Ciaran" I hugged him as we pulled up outside the house, my dad had heard the car pull into the driveway so he was standing at the door waiting for us, "Daddy!" I ran towards him and hugged him,

"Don't mind me I'll just take your heavy bag into the house all by myself" Ciaran said sarcastically,

"Deadly" I laughed as Ciaran swung for me,

"Did I hear right? The pest is back?" my second oldest brother Tony said coming out,

"I'm not a pest!" I said defensively

"And she still has that _squeaky_ voice" my other brother John said coming out as well,

"I do not have a squeaky voice!"

"You so do" John teased

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Enough you two, John stop teasing your sister"

"Daddy's girl"

"Mummy's boy"

"Come here you" John pulled me into a bone crushing hug, "**PILE ON!**" he yelled and pinned me to the ground as the other two jumped on top of me,

"Did someone say pile on?" my younger brother Harry asked out the window,

"We're piling on Saoirse, get Eoghan and come on!" John yelled,

"Let me up you bastards!" I yelled thrashing about,

"No can do sorry baby sister" Tony laughed as Eoghan and Harry piled on top of the other three crushing me even more,

"Alright you five that's enough, let your sister up" Ma was standing in the doorway,

"Yes Ma"

"Harry, Eoghan take your sister's bag to her room and Tony help your sister off the ground"

"Yes Ma" Tony helped me off the ground my lifting me up and throwing me over his shoulder then proceeding to spin me around as fast as he could,

"Tony put your sister down" Daddy said laughing,

"Yes Da, there we go baby sister, don't fall" he laughed when out of dizziness I'd fallen to the ground in a heap, "up we go" Tony helped me off the ground and held me up,

"Stop the world I want to get off!"

"Come on, five minutes on the sofa you'll feel better" Tony helped me walk into the house and what was supposed to be five minutes on the sofa was two minutes when Siobhan came bursting in,

"OH Saoirse, Saoirse, Saoirse, Saoirse!" she threw her arms around my neck, "you're home!"

"Hi Siobhan" I hugged her back, "You cut your hair" Siobhan's usually long curly blonde hair was now cropped into a short 1920s style bob,

"You don't like it?" she reached up to touch it,

"No I love it, it suits you"

"Speaking of suiting, what's with the baggy clothes?"

"Ma doesn't like my tight fitting stuff" I explained, "don't worry though I have stuff with me for your Hen night"

"I can't wait!"

* * *

It's amazing the little things you miss when you're away from home for so long, the things you wanted to get so far away from in the first place are suddenly the things you long for most.

It was Siobhan's hen night, the night before her wedding of course and we'd planned to spend the day in a spa in Belfast having a girly day I'd broken out my new white skinny jeans,

"Holy shit Saoirse werewhere you poured into those jeans?" Siobhan asked when I got changed in her house,

"You like? I bought them in Cardiff"

"You have to take me some time; you seem to get all the best clothes"

"Come on you, we'll miss our appointment" we both piled into Siobhan's car and drove to Belfast.

* * *

"This is amazing, we have to do this more often" Siobhan said as we walked out of the hairdressers, I had dyed my hair again and Siobhan got some highlights in, I was about to agree when something in the corner of my eye made me turn around,

"Jack?" I didn't believe my eyes,

"You're a hard woman to track down, I called at your house and they said you were in Belfast getting your hair done which is really cute by the way Ianto likes brunettes but still I had to run all over Belfast looking for you" then he spotted Siobhan, "Captain Jack Harkness"

"Here we go"

"Siobhan McBride"

"Anyway Jack what are you doing here?" I pulled him to one side,

"We have a problem. You know what a 'nostrovite'nostrovite is don't you?"

"Let me guess there are two of them in Ballymena 'cause they fell through the rift and ended up here. And they've scouted out Siobhan as host Mummy?"

"Good guess, how'd you know?"

"Cause I can never have a Paddy's day away from bloody aliens" I grumbled, "alright I'll take Siobhan home and then you can tell me what's going on"

"Ianto pull the SUV round" Jack said into his com,

"No need we came here in Siobhan's car" I walked back to Siobhan, "we gotta go babes, I have a work thing. This is my boss"

"Alright, you'll be over for the hen do won't you? The girls are dying to see you again"

"Of course, come on then" Siobhan and I got back in her car and drove back home, I dropped her at her house and told her not to tell my Ma about Jack parked her car and then met up with Jack at the corner of my estate,

"Fucking aliens I can't have one Paddy's day off from them, I'm getting my bat" I made a pit stop in the house and lifted my Hurley bat from the umbrella stand in the hall then walked to the corner of the estate where Jack and Ianto were waiting, "so what do we know?"

* * *

**Bit of a filler chapter really**

**More to come though so stay tuned**

**Thanks to PanicHunter94 for messaging and blackphoenixsoul (the lovely Hana) for proof reading **

* * *

**Listening to: Almost there – Princess and the Frog soundtrack, Reading: nothing, Random thought of the day: if rollers and onion rings are both made by the same company and are both onion flavoured then what's the difference? **


	4. Chapter 4

"Nostrovites are shape shifters and they hunt in pairs. They could be anyone" Jack said,

"Well that's helpful, not"

"Um – bat?" Ianto said

"Oh right, I'm gonna find the Nostrovites and do their knees in with my bat" I chirped happily,

"Saoirse you're scaring Ianto" Jack said

"Sorry love, well I'm away back here. Keep an eye on the bride that sort of thing. Plus I have t-shirts to pick up tonight and a lot of drink to consume"

"I need your number" Ianto said before I walked off,

"You're being very forward lovely"

"We need it to keep in touch encase the Nostrovites attack" Jack said being professional,

"Fine" I flipped out my phone and gave Ianto my number; "well back into the fray" I adjusted my bra under my top and walked back down the street with my bat over my shoulder, "Daddy? Ma" I called,

"You're home early" Daddy said coming out of the kitchen,

"Work thing. I got the promotion"

"Congratulations, so what does this mean?"

"More money but the hours are longer and there are less of us but it's still in Cardiff at least"

"Well done anyway for getting it. Was that why you left Siobhan earlier?" I cringed,

"What did she say?"

"That an American by the name of Jack Harkness, a Captain came and pulled you to one side. You two had a chat and then you had to leave her home"

"Yeah that was him telling me I had the promotion. I'm gonna go lie down for an hour okay? Wake me before five 'cause I have to go get the t-shirts"

"Alright baby girl" I trudged up the stairs and flopped down into bed.

* * *

**-3****rd**** Person-**

After Saoirse left Jack and Ianto met with Owen. Tosh and Gwen had opted to stay behind to monitor rift activity,

"So what did she say?" Owen asked Ianto when they met back at the hotel lobby,

"She brought a bat" Ianto said sitting down next to Owen, "swore a lot and then when we explained about Nostrovites she swore some more then went home"

"Jack how do you know that girl anyway?" Owen asked,

"I worked with UNIT once and she was part of the team I was working with. I reacted the same as you did. She is rather scary"

"Did I hear her right when she said she was in the IRA?" Owen said,

"Yeah she was there for two years. Something to do with her Granda, she'll tell you about it herself if you get to know her better" Jack explained, "for now let's focus on those Nostrovites"

* * *

"Saoirse love it's time to get up" Daddy said shaking me,

"Mm what time is it?"

"Half four" I stretched some and sat up in bed,

"I need to go get the t-shirts" I got dressed again and went back down the town to get our Hen Night t-shirts.

The front of them looked like a tuxedo and the back had "Siobhan's Hen Night 2006' and a name underneath it.

When I got back from town I stopped in Siobhan's with the t-shirts and my skirt and boots for later since if I left the house in what I was planning to wear out that night Ma would string me up by my toes.

I got back to the house and called in with Jack, no sightings of a nostrovite not that I'd know what one was until it jumped up and bit me like but still, the hen party was given the go ahead so once again I made my way to Siobhan's where her sister and the girls from the office were waiting,

"I love these t-shirts!" Eimear, Siobhan's sister said preening herself in front of a mirror; Eimear was the same age as the twins. She and Siobhan weren't really close but they were family so she had to be a bridesmaid she was a bit put out that I got to be Maid of Honour though,

"Thanks the idea just sort of seemed funny to me, tuxedos for a hen night" I said lacing up my boots,

"Well are we ready to go then?" Siobhan was buzzing with excitement,

"Yup, come on then" I linked arms with Siobhan and we made our way down the town and the first bar.

By the fifth bar I'd forgotten all about the Nostrovites and was thoroughly enjoying myself, until someone screamed,

"OH MY GOD IT'S A MONSTER!"

"Bollox" I took a gun from the holster under my skirt, took aim at the now snarling nostrovite and emptied a clip into it.

Walking over to check it was dead I nudged the body with the tip of my boot, "Siobhan take my phone out of my bag and call 'Ianto' and tell him 'it's here', ok just that it's here, can you do that for me?" I turned to look at a frightened Siobhan,

"O-ok" she took my phone out as I checked the nostrovite a little closer, bad idea it snarled at me again and clawed my face,

"Oh now you've done it" I took my other gun out and emptied it into the Nostrovite, "you better be dead this time"

"The guy said he was on his way" Siobhan said sobbing now out of fear, "what was that thing?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you"

"Why do you have two guns? I thought you weren't working for y'know anymore"

"I'm not. I work for an organisation called Torchwood, we hunt down things like that and deal with them" I said putting both guns away, "don't worry alright I won't let anything ruin your big day"

"B-but"

"No buts just trust me alright?" Siobhan nodded, "good girl" Jack, Ianto and Owen came bursting through the doors,

"Nice boots" Jack said when they got across to where I'd gunned down the nostrovite

"Really? I thought they might be a bit trashy"

"Well considering you've probably got a knife hidden in one of them they aren't so much trashy as deadly. Right Ianto" Ianto was trying his best not to look below my shoulders, apparently embarrassed by my short skirt giant boots combo,

"How many bullets did you empty into this thing?" Owen asked me when he looked at the body,

"Two full clips, the damn thing just wouldn't die. And look what it did to my face!"

"Let me have a look at that" Ianto took my face in his hands and examined the wound, "flesh wound but lots of blood"

"Whatever I'll clean it up later, what are we going to do about this? Everyone has just seen me fill a nostrovite full of bullets. Two clips full"

"Retcon" Jack answered, "It's an amnesia pill" he explained in reaction to my confused face, "we can put it in the drinks and everyone will forget what happened"

"They'll just think it was one hell of a night. Sweet" I stood up and smoothed out my skirt, "Ladies and gentlemen can I have your attention please. You have all just been featured in a new motion picture from Sony BMG, in thanks of your cooperation drinks are on us"

"S-so it was a movie?" Siobhan asked

"No it was a government training exercise but I'm not about to tell everyone that, here take this. It'll help your nerves" I said handing Siobhan the pill Jack took out of his coat, "good girl. Now go and have a drink"

"I'll look after you" Jack put his hand on the small of Siobhan's back and led her to the bar.

* * *

One drink later and everyone was out for the count on sofa's, seats, the dance floor anywhere really,

"That stuff is strong" I commented sipping my whiskey, "where did you get it? Cause UNIT has nothing like it"

"I made it myself" Jack answered giving me an odd look,

"I'm not about to run back to UNIT 'oh you'll never guess what torchwood has'. Please I have a bit more wit than that"

"You should really get that seen to" Ianto said again about my face, "it might get infected"

"Don't really care; add another scar to my collection. But I suppose I'd better start getting people home" I took out my phone and flipped it up, "there are some people who owe me favours" I walked away from the boys making my phone calls . Minutes later there where several men in tan green jumpers and combat boots with black berets walking through the doors,

"Saoirse O'Neill as I live and breathe" one man said walking up to me, "I thought you'd abandoned us for Wales and the English government"

"Hiya Paddy, nah Siobhan is getting married so I'm home for a week. Anyway can you take some of these one's home? Or to a ditch somewhere I don't really mind, the idea is that they've had one too many"

"Understood. Come on you lot we have our orders let's get to work. Saoirse" he saluted and started the clean-up,

"Who are they?" Jack asked suspiciously

"Friends and we'll leave it at that, come on help me put Siobhan in a taxi. Later eye-candy" I blew Ianto a kiss and put Siobhan, Eimear and the rest of the girls in Taxi's and got them all home safe and sound. Then eventually got round to dealing with the wound on my face, I'd just tell people I got into a fight and the bitch clawed her fake nails across my face it'd work.

The problem was Mummy nostrovite now that her mate was dead she'd be out for blood and Siobhan's would be first and I wasn't about to let that happen.

* * *

**Another filler chapter sorta**

**I promise there will be action in the next chapter **

**Listening to: Gym Class Heroes – Cookie Jar, Reading: House Fanfiction, Random thought of the day: I'm so sleep deprived it's not even funny**


	5. Chapter 5

"**SAOIRSE"**

"Huh? What?" I looked out of my duvet to see Siobhan standing over me, "Siobhan? What time is it?" I rolled over to go back to sleep when Siobhan yanked my duvet off me, "cold, Siobhan you better have a good reason for doing that or you'll be walking down the aisle in crutches"

"Do you know what time it is?" she yelled,

"No hence why I asked earlier" I replied sleepily,

"It's eleven in the morning, my wedding is in two hours and you're not even out of your bloody bed!"

"I'm up, I'm up" I took some clean underwear and went to the bathroom for a quick shower, "pity there wasn't a pill to make her mellow the hell out, oh wait that's weed" I laughed "and we all know what happens to Siobhan on weed" I shuddered at the memory of Siobhan throwing up rings round herself,

"SAORISE HURRY UP!" she yelled,

"Jaysus chill the bap!" I unlocked the bathroom door and Siobhan shoved my dress into my arms, "taffeta lovely" Siobhan gave me the evil eye, "alright bride-zilla chill the bap" I slipped into the dress and put my big boots and the holster for my guns under it, if mummy nostrovite was still about I'd need all the weapons I had, putting a few extra clips in my bag along with my phone I went to help Siobhan with her dress,

"I'm so excited" she said bouncing on the spot as her Ma brought the dress over from the wardrobe, "Oh My God! Saoirse what happened to your face?" Siobhan gasped,

"You don't remember?" Siobhan shook her head,

"I think I had a bit too much to drink" she laughed,

"I got into a fight, some girl claimed I spilt her drink on her when I didn't and she clawed her fake nails down my face" I said like it was the most common thing in the world, "it doesn't look that bad does it?" I took a look at myself in the full length mirror Siobhan was standing in, "make up will cover it sure, come on then bride-zilla into the meringue"

"It's not a meringue!" Siobhan said pointing a finger at me,

"So you admit to being a bride-zilla then" I laughed lacing up her corset,

"Maybe a wee bit" she said holding up her finger and thumb,

"Yeah a wee bit" I said widening the gap between her finger and thumb, "you're allowed to be though, it's your big day and after this I'll never see you again cause Tommy'll keep you all to himself to rear his weans and you'll just be Mummy and my best friend will die" I said dramatically,

"And you tell me to chill the bap like" Siobhan shook her head at me,

"And if he hits you a chop you know the first person to call after you wallop him with the heaviest inanimate object you can find that'll cause the most pain"

"Then you'll come with your bat and do his knees in and make him regret laying a hand on me I know, but Tommy isn't gonna hit me a chop. Now help me put my hair up"

* * *

_"How're things with the blushing bride?"_

"Everything seems ok, I haven't seen Mummy anywhere, not that I'd know what she looks like until she's chewing on my ovaries … which wouldn't be such a bad thing. I don't actually need my ovaries"

_"I'm going to ignore that"_

"What no 'I once knew a girl with no ovaries, one of the best weekends of my life' joke? You're slipping Jack" I laughed, "oops g-t-g here comes the bride" I shut my phone and turned to Siobhan, "you look like an angel" I smiled kindly,

"Is the car here yet?" she asked tightening her grip on her bouquet,

"Not yet, relax. Things are gonna be fine" I put my hand on her bare shoulder comfortingly; "nothing is going to spoil your big day I promise. Look there's the car"

Siobhan had gone against the traditional limo to take us to the chapel, instead we were going in an old fashioned car with ribbons tied to the front,

"Pile in then" Siobhan called to Eimear and the girls from work, Siobhan got into the back with Eimear and the two girls from work and I got in the front next to the driver,

"Bout ye, listen I work for the government and I have reason to believe someone is going to try and crash the wedding so can you be extra careful?"

"No bother love"

"Great send the invoice to 'torchwood' for the attention of Saoirse. Are we all ready to go back there?" I asked the girls in the back of the car,

"Beat on, I have a wedding to get to!" Siobhan laughed,

"I say driver, drive on" my accent got pretty thick and the driver laughed,

"Off we go then ladies" I took out my phone again and text Jack to let him know we were on our way to the chapel and then text Ciaran to keep an eye out for anyone he didn't recognise and to tell the lads the same thing.

* * *

"Oh my god I'm so nervous" Siobhan gripped her bouquet tighter turning her knuckles white,

"Don't worry honey I'll be right beside you the whole time" the music started in the chapel, "that's my cue" I kissed Siobhan on the cheek, took a deep breath and the doors of the chapel opened and we all walked in.

As I walked up the aisle I saw a lot of familiar faces, family, friends and "jack!" I hissed but kept on walking,

"Who was that guy in the coat?" Eimear whispered to me when we got to our seats, "he's deadly looking"

"He's my boss" I whispered back not moving my head, having perfected whispering in mass years ago,

"What about the two with him" my face dropped, I hadn't seen the other two,

"I work with them" I replied scanning the chapel for anyone I didn't know, a lot from Tommy's side of the family, I knew most of them but there was one woman in black I didn't know,

"Nostrovite" I whispered as I watched her gaze focus on Siobhan, "shit" I turned my head around and locked eyes with Ianto and then looked at the nostrovite, he nodded and tapped Jack, who was flirting with Tommy's sister from across the chapel.

He looked up and I titled my head toward the nostrovite and Jack nodded, Saoirse and Tommy were taking their vows and the nostrovite appeared to be keeping a low profile, probably didn't think anyone knew she was here.

Then she turned to look at the crowd and her eyes locked on mine, shit.

The nostrovite snarled and lunged for me, I took out a gun from under my dress and blew a hole in its head and of course people started screaming,

"For the love of god" I groaned and put my fingers in my mouth and whistled, everyone stopped, "thank you, now if I can have your attention please. Most of you know me and you trust me, so here's what you're going to do. You're all going to exit the chapel in an orderly fashion and this ceremony will continue in a garden or something alright? Good, off you go" I took my phone out of my bag and called Paddy,

_"Saoirse? Two calls in two days it must be my birthday"_

"I have a situation here Paddy, something is trying to ruin Siobhan's big day, can you round up the likely lads and get down here? And bring me some clothes I can actually run in"

_"Yes ma'am"_ I hung up the phone as Jack, Ianto and Owen came running up to me,

"Hang on I'm pretty sure this thing isn't dead yet" I nudged the nostrovite with my boot and sure enough it sprang up and went for my face, I shot it again in the stomach and managed to move out of the way, unfortunately Eimear was stupid and managed to get in the way of the nostrovite,

"You killed my mate!" it hissed,

"Yeah and I enjoyed it too" I taunted, "let her go" I tried reasoning with the Nostrovite, "she's not important to you"

"And why should I listen to you?" the nostrovite hissed again,

"Cause if you don't I'll blow a hole in your kneecaps next" I cocked my gun and aimed it at the right kneecap, "your choice" the nostrovite howled and scratched Eimear's throat making blood pour out of it,

"Owen!" Jack yelled,

"Got it" Owen knelt down beside Eimear and tried to stop the blood flow,

"Ianto, Saoirse after that thing!" Jack yelled chasing after the fleeing nostrovite, we burst through the chapel doors and I saw Paddy's jeep coming up the path,

"Paddy thank god!" he jumped out of the jeep and handed me a tan pile of clothes, "life saver, right there are frightened guests here and a priest I'm pretty sure cacked himself. Can you get them to safety? And I'm gonna need to borrow some of your lads"

"Ma'am" Paddy saluted and then walked off giving orders,

"I need to change" I said to Ianto and Jack "back in a minute"

"You'll need this" Jack handed me a com, I out it in my ear and went back into the chapel.

Owen was still tending to Eimear, "how's she doing?" I asked,

"Not good she's losing a lot of blood" Owen replied, "the SUV is round the back if I can get her out and into it I can get her to a hospital"

"Go I'll get you covered" I texted Paddy to guard the back of the chapel until Owen got clear with Eimear then changed out of my dress into the clothes Paddy had brought for me including a black beret, when I stepped back outside a few people gasped,

"What's wrong?" Ianto asked looking around for the nostrovite,

"Nothing, they just haven't seen me dressed like this in a long time is all" I adjusted my beret and walked over to the group of men Paddy had left me, "what we're looking for is a person who when you find them will probably have very sharp teeth and nails. They attacked the bride's sister and ruined the wedding; when you find it radio me. Someone give me a radio" one of the men handed me a radio, "off you go then" they saluted and ran off to find the nostrovite,

"As for you and I eye candy we're going to take care of the bride" we walked off and found Siobhan and the rest of the guests including my brothers and parents,

"Saoirse" Ma said looking pained, "I thought you were done with all this?"

"I am Ma, someone apparently doesn't know that and figured I'd let my guard down at a wedding. This is Ianto he's going to help" I walked over to Saoirse and put my hand on her shoulder, "how're you holding up?"

"What was that thing?" she asked

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. But don't worry we'll have everyone back in the chapel in no time and you can still get married" I stood up and walked over to where Tommy and his best man Padraig were standing, "lads"

"Saoirse, what's going on?" Tommy asked, "All I wanted to do today was get married and now this"

"Don't worry I'm taking care of it" I assured him, "Jack anything?" I asked touching the com in my ear,

_"Nothing yet"_

"Lads" I asked into the radio

_"Nothing yet Ma'am … wait what the hell?" _there was gunfire on the other end of the radio, _"we've found it ma'am chasing it in your direction now"_ the line went dead,

"Ianto" I yelled, "get Siobhan and everyone out of here. Padraig do you have your bat with you?"

"Y-yeah it's in the car we came in"

"Do you have a ball as well?"

"Y-yeah in the car"

"Get out of here; run as far as you can" he didn't move, "Didn't you hear me? **RUN**" I touched the com again, "Jack that thing's headed this way"

_"I'm on my way"_

I ran to the car the lads had come in and took Padraig's bat and ball from the back seat and ran back to where Ianto was trying to get everyone to move but the nostrovite was running towards them all and they were too scared to move,

"Oh no you don't" I threw the ball in the air and hit it as hard as I could at the back of the Nostrovites head, the ball impacted with a sickening _thwap_ sound and the connection from the brain to the rest of the body was severed and the nostrovite lay dead on the ground,

"Nice shot" Ianto complimented me when I walked over,

"The team I played for were all Ireland Under 21 champions" I explained,

"Is it dead?" Siobhan asked,

"Yeah its dead, are you alright?" I asked noticing she was shaking,

"Well put it this way, it's a day I'll never forget"

"That's for sure" I laughed, "alright everyone if I can have your attention please, if you're still on for it there are two people who'd like to get married here today"

* * *

"And by the power vested in me by our lord Jesus Christ, I now pronounce you Man, and Wife, eventually. You may kiss the bride" Tommy kissed Siobhan and everyone cheered, I was still standing in my 'RA gear but it didn't matter.

The happy couple walked down the aisle and I followed along with the other two girls and Padraig,

"This was one hell of a wedding" Padraig said to me when I got into the car with him and the girls,

"Almost impossible to forget" I said knowingly.

When we got to the hotel the reception was at I changed back into my dress for pictures but then back out of it after dinner. After Siobhan and Tommy had their first dance and the drink was flowing I helped Jack Retcon the families as well as Paddy and his lads so they wouldn't remember the nostrovite but they'd remember the wedding,

"So there are different levels of Retcon?" I asked propping my feet up on the table,

"Different situations call for different things" Jack explained, "so aren't you going to dance?" he asked nodding to the dance floor packed full of people high on Retcon,

"Nope, I don't dance" I said taking a sip of my whiskey,

"But you're far too pretty to be a wallflower" Jack laughed,

"Watch it Harkness" I warned playfully, "speaking of pretty, I got up and stood in front of Ianto, "feel like dancing eye candy?"

"Only if you don't call me that" Ianto said standing up,

"Deal" we found an empty spot on the crowded dance floor, "so what can I call you then?"

"Ianto, it's my name. so what did you mean earlier when you said that people hadn't seen you dressed like this in a while? If you don't mind my asking"

"Nah its fine, did you notice that Paddy and his lads were dressed the same and they all saluted me?" Ianto nodded, "well that's because this is the 'uniform' of the Irish Republican Army" I explained, "I joined when I was sixteen"

"Why?" Ianto asked

"My Granda was a member when he was younger but he quit when I was born. First girl grand-baby, he spoiled me rotten because of it.

One day, I was six years old, I'd been suspended from school for biting a girl and Granda was taking care of me while Ma and Daddy were at work.

He'd run out of cigarettes and we were going to the shop to buy more, he said he'd buy me a lucky bag but I wasn't allowed to tell my Ma. When we got to the shop I picked out a lucky bag and Granda paid for it.

Someone had seen us go in though, from the UVF and they sent someone into the shop to deal with us, the guy set off a bomb in the shop. Granda protected me from the blast as best he could but I still got hurt.

A pipe went through my stomach, just missing anything vital, and of course I had some cuts and bruises from a shop falling on me, a broken leg and a dislocated shoulder.

When I woke up in hospital they told me Granda was 'resting' he was in a coma, I was allowed to go and see him when the doctors said I was alright but I wasn't in the room two minutes until he had a massive cardiac arrest and he died in front of me.

To this day I hate hospitals"

"I'm so sorry. Something happened to me as well.

I had a girlfriend, her name was Lisa and when all those Cybermen appeared they took her away for an 'upgrade' but she was only half way finished when the battle ended so I took her out of there and hid her.

When I got my job in Torchwood I moved her to the basement and did a lot of research on Cybernetics online and found the expert in the field. He was from japan so I used my wages to fly him to Cardiff hoping he could help.

But something went wrong, Lisa she, went mad. She killed the professor and then tried to 'upgrade' the team, Jack made her look at herself to try and reason with her but she killed the girl who normally brought us pizza.

Then Jack killed her"

"I'm so sorry, it's hard isn't it? Losing someone you love that much" Ianto didn't say anything but I understood, I hugged him tightly and we went to sit down again.

A few minutes later everyone started falling asleep, when the last person passed out we called Owen in the hospital and he said he'd already Retconed Eimear and he'd be out to help in five minutes.

So in the meanwhile Ianto, Jack and I carried people to different hotel rooms and parts of the hotel, obviously making it look like they'd passed out,

"So still want to come and work with us in Cardiff?" Jack asked when I'd shut the door to Saoirse and Tommy's room,

"Of course, family is important but if I'm here much longer you won't be able to understand a word I say. Plus I might kill my brothers"

"Your accent has gotten broader since you've been here. I'm having trouble understanding you at all"

"Shut up!" I shoved Jack and went to check on Ianto,

"Everyone's out cold" he said,

"So I was wondering, when we get back to Cardiff, there's a new Chinese place opened by the bay, fancy it?"

"Saturday at eight alright for you"

"Perfect" I walked off and made sure I was around a corner before I did my happy dance

* * *

**-Gwen's Wedding 9 months later-**

"Does anyone else have that déjà vu feeling?" I asked running around the hotel

_"Can't imagine what you mean" _Owen said sarcastically

"You know, running around a wedding after a nostrovite. Just feels like we've done this before somehow"

_"I think you're hallucinating Saoirse, it's the anorexia"_ Ianto said,

"Here! You're not supposed to agree with Owen! What kind of boyfriend are you?"

_"You two can have your lovers tiff later, Saoirse that nostrovite is headed in your direction" _Jack said into the com,

"On it, see if you can keep up eye candy" I laughed running to intercept the nostrovite that ruined Gwen's wedding, "seriously though do these things just live to ruin weddings or what?"

"Wouldn't have a clue" Ianto said catching up to me,

"Nice to see you made it love. There she is!" the nostrovite that had taken the shape of Rhys' mum was running towards the barn Gwen and Rhys where hiding in. I aimed my gun and shot the nostrovite in the head, didn't go down,

"Jack we're going to need a bigger gun" Ianto said as we chased the nostrovite

_"On it"_ Ianto and I chased the nostrovite to the barn when Jack came running along with a giant ass gun,

"What in the name of arse?"

"Rhys, you're a bad boy and you know what bad boys get!" the nostrovite yelled, jack pulled the trigger and the nostrovite exploded into a mess of black blood and organs,

"Gross," I said wiping some gunk from my t-shirt, "well then you two are you going to romp in the hay the rest of the day or are you going to get married?" Gwen and Rhys left the barn with Owen and Jack "and as for you" I hit Ianto in the arm,

"Ow!"

"That's what you get for agreeing with Owen" Ianto rubbed his arm,

"That actually hurt, you might need to kiss it better" he smirked,

"Come here" I grabbed onto the lapels of Ianto's jacket and brought his lips down to my own, putting my arms around his neck Ianto brushed his tongue over my lips,

"OI! Romeo and Juliet, get a move on" Owen yelled,

"Git" I scowled, Ianto laughed,

"Come on you, the wedding fairy needs to make an appearance and she can't if you're not there"

"Alright then, come on, we'll finish this later" I winked at Ianto and stepped out into the sunlight again _"Another wedding crisis averted by Torchwood, we should go into the wedding planning business, make a fortune"_ I thought, "thank god I'm never getting married"

"Never say never, love" Ianto said mocking my accent,

"Póg mo thón" Ianto just laughed and we made our way back to the hotel

* * *

**Holy crap that was long**

**Seven pages in word**

**Hope you liked it**

**Watching: out the window, Reading: Torchwood – Bay of the Dead (Zombies!), Listening to: Bloodhound Gang – Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo**

**Póg mo thón = Kiss my ass**


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